When He Loved Me
by Foxieglove
Summary: Tinkerbell deals with losing Peter to adulthood, but she isn't alone.


_When somebody loved me   
Everything was beautiful  
Every hour we spent together   
Lives within my heart _

_And when he was sad  
I was there to dry his tears  
And when he was happy  
So was I  
When he loved me_

She flew as quickly as she could, the wind buffetting her wings savagely. Moths had been known to lose both flight ability and lives in such gales, but Tinkerbell was not about to turn back. She had left in search of someone dearer to heart than life itself.

_Peter, why? Why did you ever leave? I hope I'm not too late to convince you to return_, she pleaded. 

Tink knew Peter had chosen to stay this time with his new mother, rather than return home to the other Lost Boys. He had given her a thimble as she watched, glowing with jealousy and wings drooping with the weight of a broken heart. How could he kiss someone he'd never known before, and yet ignore the very one who worshipped the clouds he touched with his feet?

_Through the summer and the fall  
We had each other  
That was all  
Just he and I together  
Like it was meant to be_

_And when he was lonely  
I was there to comfort him  
And I knew that  
He loved me_

She was at the window now and what a sight she beheld. Toys strewn about everywhere; jolly jack-in-the-boxes, plump teddy bears, ebony-haired dolls with glass eyes, and heaps upon heaps of discarded drawings and crayons. Tink's heart lit up like a match when she could make out a map of Neverland on the floor. A wooden sword rested somewhere next to it - Peter's! She would know that smooth worn handle anywhere!

Her heart beat fast with excitement. So he hadn't grown up! But why hadn't he come back? Had the grownups kept him against his will? Had he forgotten to fly? Had he been hurt? Tinkerbell cursed herself for ever leaving. 

"Maisy! Henry!" she heard a voice from the hall cry. "Have you cleaned up the nursery yet? What a draft I feel. I shall close that window directly."

She gasped and squeezed herself hurriedly through the crack. Just as the footsteps sounded outside of the door, she floated to the ground and hid in the drawing room of the grand dollhouse. The light went on before she could hide herself better behind the wee little chair, so she held still, trying not to draw attention to herself. 

It was all she could do not to gasp as the grown up walked directly in front of her, surveying the mess with a frown. "Those _dear_ children," he muttered fondly. "They never do listen, do they?" 

Tink stared back with her mouth closed in startled silence, not sure if Peter was directly talking to her or himself. For as she surveyed his body and took in the tall legs, long fingers, and the slight wrinkles next to his eyes, she had trouble breathing. It was as she had feared in the deepest, darkest region of her mind where all unwanted thoughts were stored. 

Her boy had grown up. 

_So the years went by  
I stayed the same  
But he began to drift away  
I was left alone  
Still I waited for the day  
When he'd say "I will always love you"_

Peter looked down into the dollhouse suddenly and his eye caught Tinkerbell. "Hello," he said, picking her up. "What's this little doll? I've never seen her before." 

Tinkerbell froze in his hand as the words laced pain through the veins of her heart. Didn't he remember her? 

She stayed still out of shock alone as he placed her back in the faerie-sized drawing room, taking care to sit her down in a little chair. His fingertip touched her face gently and his blue eyes gazed upon her . . . almost as if trying to remember something. 

Her heart beat fast, cleansing out the poison of hurt to make room for the joy that would replace it if only he said her name . . . just three little syllables. Her _name_ . . . 

"What marvelous detail," Peter whispered. The warmth of his finger against her face vanished as he turned to leave the room. It was more than she could bear. 

"Peter!" she cried out to him, her heart breaking. 

He stopped in the doorway for just a moment and once again, she felt her heart leap with false promises. His hand wavered against the wooden frame, then reached to turn off the light to the nursery. The telephone rang suddenly and Peter . "Margaret! I'll get that, dear, don't trouble yourself!" he called, walking briskly down the hall. 

In the cloaked darkness penetrated only by the hall lamp, Tink sobbed brokenly and put a hand to her cheek where Peter had touched her. 

_Lonely and forgotten  
Never thought he'd look my way  
But he smiled at me and held me  
Just like he used to do  
Like he loved me  
When he loved me_

A green light flared beside her and she didn't have to turn to know who it was. 

"Go away, Wisp," she snapped, wiping away tears in annoyance. 

"Tink . . ." he said softly. 

"Go before I knock your teeth out, you silly ass!"

Calling him that reminded her of all the times Peter had vexed her and she broke into wailing sobs that were no louder than a gnat screaming to the ears of an adult. But Wisp heard and it wrenched his heart to listen. 

"Please," he said, reaching out to her. "If it would help you, then hit me. Knock my teeth out, I don't care. But you have got to stop doing this to yourself."

"Doing what to myself?! I haven't done anything! He's the one who forgot me!"

"The important thing is not to forget him."

"I can't! I love him . . . you don't understand what it's like!"

Wisp looked at her and shook his head. "You really think you're the only fae who's ever fallen in love with a mortal. They grow up. They forget. It happens. I do know what it's like." 

Tink listened, but she kept her face averted. How dare Wisp?! How dare he come to shatter her dreams - however frail they were now - that Peter would come back? It wasn't fair. "No, you don't," she said sullenly. "Peter was never going to grow up. He was going to stay with me forever. He was supposed to love me back!"

"Pedophile," Wisp muttered.

Tink heard and slapped him. Hard. 

"Ow! Okay, I deserved that." Wisp rubbed his cheek ruefully. "But seriously. He did love you; as best as a child his age could. Children don't fall in love until they grow up. So long as he remained with you, he would never know or understand the kind of love you felt for him. Now he does, but as a consequence, you've lost him."

"I should've turned him into a faerie," she lamented softly. "Then he wouldn't have left."

"Would that have been what he wanted?" Wisp countered. "You love him too much for that, Tink. You drank poison for him. You could never keep Peter against his will."

"But I miss him so much." The tears were coming faster than Tink could wipe away. She kept her hand over her eyes to catch them all. Wisp ran a soothing hand through her hair. 

"I'm sure the child he once was misses you as well, Tink."

Her shoulders shook and she allowed Wisp to wrap his arms around her, holding her close.

For a long while they remained thus until her tears had dried for another woe and she had finally begun to accept her loss. 

_When somebody loved me  
Everything was beautiful  
Every hour we spent together   
Lives within my heart_

_When he loved me . . . _

Softly she laid her head against Wisp's chest and the green fae reverently kissed her forehead.

"Let's go, my love."

"Don't think you can call me that just because I'm hanging all over you," came the peeved and somewhat muffled reply. 

She felt Wisp trembling with silent laughter. He hugged her tightly before allowing her to step back. 

Tinkerbell offered him both a shaky smile and her hand. Together, the two faeries flew out the open nursery window, riding into a gentler wind that sent gossamer white curtains floating idly.

~ finis ~ 

**A/N: I don't own anyone or anything save for Wisp. The song 'When She Loved Me' belongs to Sarah Mclachlan and Disney. Peter Pan and Tinkerbell belong to Sir. James Barrie, NOT DISNEY!!! NEVER EVER EVER!!!!**  



End file.
